10 January 2007

My heart hurts

Even though after being transferred out of the department that I have been for the past ten years and even after leaving the organization that I have been for the past 25 years, I still in touch with my former staff who I have worked with closely. The way of communication is by way of telephones calls, e-mail and if I am able to squeeze in my time, I will pop over to have lunch with them (I have to travel by LRT from my current office to meet up with them). However, the feedbacks that I gathered from the staff that I have worked closely with were not pleasant. I felt sad and heart broken to hear about their current working condition when compared to days when I was there.

Remember the stories on how the children of stepmothers are treated? Stories like Cinderella and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. The abandoned child will be ill treated and were not cared by the step mother (and step sisters). Things were not like the days when the maternal mother was around to care for them and to love them.

Things were totally different in my former department after I left. My former staff was not happy working in the new environment where the atmosphere was not the same when I was around. They felt that the new “management” is too bossy and were slow in making good and effective decisions. They spoke of the current style of management compared to the time when the department was managed by me.

During my days in the department, I tried very much to work in an environment where every one has a share to voice their ideas. I “dirty my hand” my getting involved in their projects not because I do not trust them but it allowed me to learn about the project. I would as far as possible attend the meetings with my staff to support them and at the same time teach them how to be able to contribute positively in meetings with other departments.

I am not trying to say that I was a good leader or manager, but I proud to say that that people enjoy working with me (not for me).

After hearing all the feedbacks and happenings from my former staff, I felt like I am the sprit of the “dead mother” who is looking at how my own children have been ill treated and their unhappiness state after my “demise”. Like the sprit of the “dead mother” I could not anything but to watch on the side line hoping for the best but expecting the worse.

Even though I am glad that I made the correct decision to leave my previous organization, I cannot detached myself totally from my former staff. I cannot help to sympathizes for them undergoing their current predicament; I cannot help to jot down my feelings here in my blog. Even though I know that the “current management” may read what I have written, I could not give a damm of what they think of what I have written because they should realize that they are dealing with people who work with them and not for them.

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